we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Randomize
