wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
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