You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
