PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
