I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Randomize
