I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
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