I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
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