I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
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