Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
