I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
he just fucked me for my cheese..
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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