Hey man sorry I got all grabby
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
Randomize