I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
