my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
Best friends brother. Beat that.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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