didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Randomize
