3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Randomize
