Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
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