Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
Randomize