Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
Randomize
