NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
