We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Randomize
