so explain again why im purple
no
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
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