But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
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