Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
