She is in my trunk
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
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