just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
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