Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
be right there i have to get my cape
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
