you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
No stitches, just platelets and will power
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
There's even glitter on my cock...
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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