well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
Randomize
