OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Randomize
