i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
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