I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
I supernannyed him into submission
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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