you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
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