I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
Randomize
