i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
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