come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
I have already put on my inside pants.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
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