Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
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