Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
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