dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Randomize
