WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
as a side note pls kill me
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
