There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
Randomize
