I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
