you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
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