why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
Randomize
