and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
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