69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
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