My brain says no but my pants say off.
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
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