I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
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