i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
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