peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize