I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
Randomize
