It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
