Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
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