it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
you never un-have a 4some
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
Randomize
