so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
