thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
