Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
Randomize
