I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
Randomize
