he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
Randomize