I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize