I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
Randomize
