I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
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