You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
