This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
