Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
Randomize
