Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Randomize
