OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
