that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
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